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all i want to do is ride bikes with you

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i changed my lj name to webs_of_light so anyone who hasn't friended me (let me know if you do so i can friend you back) is losing out major
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new el jay:
webs_of_light

unfortunately, i still can't figure out the whole... layout thing
add me, please. and ill add you back!

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what do you do with letters that used to be, found tucked away in the corners of closets where dust bunnies live? today i threw most of the contents of my closet onto my bedroom floor. it wasn't even most, it was about half but it covered my entire black area rug and stretched into crevices of corners and between dvd racks and almost under my bed. i have all these letters from old friends from when i was fourteen and fifteen years old. the letters dont literally say much but they're records of who ive been. i think i need to get rid of them, let the baggage turn into something else and find reflections of who i am. my walls do that. the free poster, three calendars (froud's pressed faeries, harry potter & disney faeries), wings that kate made years ago, lyrics and quotations from fabric paint in the handwritings of people i love. random glitter. i need to change my shades. they're old and dark and falling apart (they're swirly blue with stars. i dont have curtains). the glass of my window says "ngi ne themba" which means i find hope in zulu. now back to those letters, the echoes of voices ive never heard
xo
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school + work = completely bringing down my spirit
today was my first day off in awhile, and i didn't even know it was my day off until about five minutes before i planned on leaving for class. i tried reading all day, keeping up and studying for the midterm i thought i had tonight, then come to find out it's canceled. but while i was trying to read, i couldn't stay awake. my eyes hurt, my head hurt. everything. now it's almost two thirty am and i have no desire to sleep. i want to read the final 100 pages in stardust and devour an entire flb book tonight. i want to dream about faeries tonight and wake up to a day that's fresh and full of possibility, not full of studying for another midterm, so i can go to bed after that and wake up to working all day. and going home to reading all night. then going to bed to wake up to reading all morning before working all day. i dont know what to do. i want to own everything. i have a credit card bill to keep up with (although the problem is less about paying the bill than it is adding more stuff on it). i want to go places. to italy. to california. i want to buy a new outfit or two come march right before hanson and washington. i want. i want. i want. i wish i didn't want.
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i am wicked fucking happy right now.
click here to find out whyCollapse )
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