the walk

(no subject)

what do you do with letters that used to be, found tucked away in the corners of closets where dust bunnies live? today i threw most of the contents of my closet onto my bedroom floor. it wasn't even most, it was about half but it covered my entire black area rug and stretched into crevices of corners and between dvd racks and almost under my bed. i have all these letters from old friends from when i was fourteen and fifteen years old. the letters dont literally say much but they're records of who ive been. i think i need to get rid of them, let the baggage turn into something else and find reflections of who i am. my walls do that. the free poster, three calendars (froud's pressed faeries, harry potter & disney faeries), wings that kate made years ago, lyrics and quotations from fabric paint in the handwritings of people i love. random glitter. i need to change my shades. they're old and dark and falling apart (they're swirly blue with stars. i dont have curtains). the glass of my window says "ngi ne themba" which means i find hope in zulu. now back to those letters, the echoes of voices ive never heard
xo
the walk

(no subject)

school + work = completely bringing down my spirit
today was my first day off in awhile, and i didn't even know it was my day off until about five minutes before i planned on leaving for class. i tried reading all day, keeping up and studying for the midterm i thought i had tonight, then come to find out it's canceled. but while i was trying to read, i couldn't stay awake. my eyes hurt, my head hurt. everything. now it's almost two thirty am and i have no desire to sleep. i want to read the final 100 pages in stardust and devour an entire flb book tonight. i want to dream about faeries tonight and wake up to a day that's fresh and full of possibility, not full of studying for another midterm, so i can go to bed after that and wake up to working all day. and going home to reading all night. then going to bed to wake up to reading all morning before working all day. i dont know what to do. i want to own everything. i have a credit card bill to keep up with (although the problem is less about paying the bill than it is adding more stuff on it). i want to go places. to italy. to california. i want to buy a new outfit or two come march right before hanson and washington. i want. i want. i want. i wish i didn't want.
the walk

(no subject)

i wish i was inadvertently rich like rory and didn't have to work while attending a private college


i know i can't stress enough how much i detest winter. everything about it, with the exception of the occasional amazingly bad snow storm, i HATE. christmas is also an exception, but it seems to be more and more during autumn these days. yesterday in and out of work, people were making a huge deal about the huge upcoming snow storm that "hit" us with less than a half inch of snow, and a lot of darkness. i have all this time, and it seems like the only thing i should be doing with it is rereading sparknotes versions of howards end, and trying to find notes on secret agent. i'm going to go blow my nose now, i'm muy boring.


i have two literature midterms this week and i have no idea how to study for a literature mid term. i'm such a wicked good college senior
the walk

(no subject)

i'm pretty much done trying to make plans with anyone, so if you want to hang out with me, its up to you. otherwise i'll be perfectly happy/miserable on my own, reading my three hours of reading per night, thinking about how much essays suck, dreading midterms(wed and thurs) and going out to movies on my own. let's not forget myspace/facebook/livejournal and my bed. i like my bed.
gnite
the walk

third eye blind

i am ridicuously tired all the time, due to constantly going to sleep post 230am and always waking up at 10am. now i'm starving. and sleepy. and my room is so dry, it makes my nose hurt. i just want to blow it all the time. i'm sick of reading all the time for classes. three weeks and its already catching up to me.



oh & 'm going to see 3eb in april
the walk

(no subject)



Guilt
What is yours?
Explain yourself
Culinary: pizza I could eat pizza everyday for every meal and not tire of it. My favourites are papa ginos and pizzaria regina. cheese, or mushroom or buffalo chicken or chicken & garlic
Literary: Harry Potter i've read each other these books multiple times, which has been equaling to about 3 in two years -- usually in the summer and winter time. i'm currently between books five and six. my favourite is order of the pheonix, though it makes me cry every time
Audiovisual: Hannah Montana I dont know, I just love the show, to the point where I'm tempting to put her live concert on at work, just to piss my coworkers off;)
Musical: Britney Spears I love to dance. She makes good dance music. And besides, I remember getting her demo at the Kingston mall way back when I had purple lip gloss I bought from Claires after Michelle bought it. I had to have been no older than twelve, because at twelve I met Michelle, and twelve was also *the* Hanson age
Celebrity: tabloids I wouldn't buy Star or OK or the Enquirer, but I always scan the titles at work, and find the time to flip through the pages, catching myself up on celebrity gossip i dont really care about


Now I tag:-

alabasterduch brou_ha_ha fixatedme rockshow420 and cold_composed


to complete this same Quiz, Its HERE.
the walk

we can conquer this great divide

where are you now when i need you, music sources tucked everywhere but where it's convenient, myspace songs only allowing so much to play before the tune gets cut off. yet i dont even think to listen anymore, my mind is so focused on why can't i write, that i can't just write, and music seems like a distant truth. will you come back to me in the form of an import worth 3900 yen or will you continue to remain the constant reminder of familiarity, a time when lyrics stood out and music was more than a past time held in the confines of a ford taurus. will a concert be a lifeline, bass rhythms jump starting the blood in my veins as a reminder that i am alive. we are alive and so small and so insignificant against this terrifying world where over half its population lives on less than $2 a day, and there are slaves living in this very country as well as others, young girls slaves to sex, forever indebted to their masters.


i need a reminder of what's great & beautiful & real.
i need to get out of this town before it swallows me
even if its just for an afternoon.

current plans after this semester: none. except a trip to la or disney world. ((even if i have to go alone)) oh and an attempt at one kick ass graduation party on the "big day" which will probably turn into four people in my living room watch movies. because thats what happens
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